Monday, October 31, 2016
Wells Fargo Center (AKA CoreStates/ First Union/ Wachovia Center), Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Welcome back to another installment of big sweaty men ruining what once was a great brand of wrestling, with a little something for the excited men in the middle of the show, if you get what I mean. No but in all seriousness we are back with the next episode of ECW, and the show opens up with Paul Heyman standing in his office. He addresses the ECW universe, sadly informing them that Rob Van Dam has lost the WWE Championship on an episode of Monday Night Raw. This statement is followed with boos from the audience. He then attempts to cheer us up by saying how Van Dam has worked a schedule unlike any other champion the business has ever seen, fighting John Cena, Kurt Angle, and Edge (twice) all in the span of a week. Right after there is a loud bang, and the camera pans slightly to see Big Show. He walks in and asks Paul Heyman where his title match is. Heyman tries to calm the giant by saying that it's coming soon, but right now RVD is in need of support from everyone in the roster. Show doesn't accept this as an answer and demands his title match tonight.
We go to the commentators, but before they are really even able to say something, they get cut off by the ring announcer who introduces Kelly's Expose. Same old stuff, but with American flags everywhere cause it's the 4th of July. Next time please change the song.
Little Guido vs. Mike Knox
Before the match begins, Mike Knox cuts off the ring announcer to tell the crowd that Kelly is his girlfriend, and only he has the right to stare at her. This is met by "Shut the fuck up" chants from this angered and teased crowd, some of which had to be blurred out for an unknown reason. Little Guido (Nunzio for those who don't know) cut off Knox to let the match begin. Guido gets him some nice offense in the beginning, so it's not a squash match, and even if it is, it's not your typical one. The match shifts into Mike Knox's favor once Guido misses a Sicilian Slice. I can't tell if Knox actually has some great heel heat, or if this is just an amazing crowd, as of this point in the show though I'm going to go with the latter. Knox hits Guido with a bicycle kick followed by a swinging reverse STO, which would later become known as the Knox Out.
Winner: Mike Knox in Unknown Time
This was basically a squash match so I won't give it a rating, but man this crowd actually made me have to set down my water so I didn't spit it out from laughing during this match. You'd go from "Knox sucks cocks" to complete silence, which was soon broken by a single man yelling "FUCK MIKE KNOX". I don't agree with how much offense Guido was able to get in. It really made Knox look not as threatening.
Backstage now, where we see a conflicted Paul Heyman thinking about what he is going to do about Big Show. Rob Van Dam walks in telling Paul that he can't let Show bully him like that, and says that he wants the match. Paul refuses to do it so RVD says he is going out there and accepting the challenge himself.
A vignette is shown saying that Test is making his ECW debut tonight. Exciting!
The commentators are cut off once again, by a guy in a suit. He talks about how he has been watching ECW, and how he is disgusted by what he has seen. He continues to trash to product, and calls everyone sinners. After his little rant is done, he sits down in his chair, and it seems like we are going to move on. But then, Sandman's music hits. The crowd's cheer was incredible, and Sandman comes down to beat up this poor man with his Singapore cane. This was a much better, much more acceptable Sandman segment.
We go backstage to Big Show's lockeroom where RVD barges in and says that he likes that Big Show has challenged him. Out of no where, he slaps Big Show and says he accepts. After RVD walks away, Show has a really awkward smile on his face.
After the commercial break, we come back to a very angry Paul Heyman who is yelling at RVD, asking where his head is at. Van Dam fires right back saying ECW is a place where he is supposed to escape drama and just be able to show what he's got. That seems to turn on a lightbulb in Heyman's head, so Paul gives the ok for the match.
Test vs. Al Snow
The big ECW debut of Test. He comes out to the ring, looking a bit... well... roided up. This was your classic squash match here, but during the match, I realized we have a good crowd this week when the chants of "You took steroids" begin. Kind of sad to think about it now. Test hit a big boot, and some sort of a spinning modified neck breaker.
Winner: Test in 01:03
Like I said, just another squash matches. It's kind of hard watching a show where 2/3 of the matches are No more than 4 minutes. No rating for such a short match. Right after the match is over, Test kicks head into the crowd.
After the match we get an odd message from Sabu, saying that he is suicidal, homicidal, and genocidal. Maybe an attempt to repackage after losing to John Cena? I'm not sure.
We come back from the commercial break to a very familiar Pepsi tattoo, well familiar to anyone that watched any WWE from 2011-2013. CM Punk as a short promo, introducing himself and a straight edge guy addicted to wrestling.
ECW Championship Extreme Rules Match: Rob Van Dam (c) vs. Big Show
RVD looks to get some quick offense off on Big Show, which ultimately fails. Show starts beating up Van Dam and takes him all over the arena, including the crowd. After we get back from commercial the two are back in the ring, and Show is still in control. Van Dam gets a nice kick in and goes to the top rope, and is stopped immediately by Show, and then Show hits him with a superplex. The rough landing by RVD gets some "Holy Shit!" chants from the crowd. Big Show remains in control, picking apart Van Dam for another 4 minutes, but finally Van Dam gets some offense in when countering a Chokeslam into a DDT. He capitalizes on this momentum by hitting a Rolling Thunder. He doesn't stop the offense after that. He goes to the top rope and goes for a spinning lariat but is caught quite awkwardly by Show, and then tossed to the floor. Show went to hit RVD with the steel steps, but Van Dam goes low with a kick and Show lands on the steps. After a failed splash, Show is back into control. As RVD goes back into the ring, he meets a Chokeslam, which only gets a 2 count. The ref is then tossed by Show. The two are both layed out in the ring after RVD hits him with a Van Daminator followed up by a Five Star Frog Splash. He barely is able to pin Show, and Heyman comes out to count the pin. 1! 2! ... Huh? Heyman stopped counting, and a smile comes to his face. RVD is obviously angered, and as he is looking at Heyman, he turns around to a huge chair shot by Big Show. Heyman then tells Show to Chokeslam RVD on the chair, and Paul does in fact do the 3 count.
Winner: Big Show in 17:30
This wasn't too bad of a match actually. The pace was slow which definitely hurts the rating, but the story development is fantastic. The reaction to Big Show winning and Paul Heyman selling out is really good, and the great crowd only made it better. Drinks were thrown into the ring. So much liquid was spilled in the ring that the ECW logo in the middle of the ring was completely smeared. **
Overall: 3/10. Same rank as last week, The show was going to get the worst ranking, but was saved by the Paul Heyman story development throughout the entire show, and finally hitting the climax during the main event. I'm actually looking forward to where they go with this Heyman sold out storyline.