ECW Review
June 13th, 2006 | Sun National Bank Center (Formerly Sovereign Bank Arena), Trenton, New Jersey
Since I was able to get my hands on WWE's attempted relaunch of the original ECW, I figured I would review it. Here's to hoping it's not truly as bad as everyone says it is.So we start out with Paul Heyman talking about how much of an honor it is to be back, with the ECW Sci-Fy premier. He then follows to introduce Rob Van Dam who won the WWE Championship at the One Night Stand event. After boasting about Van Dam's accomplishment, Heyman presents him with the ECW Championship. RVD accepts of course, but right after Edge and Lita make their entrance, to the enjoyment of Heyman due to Edge helping Rob win the WWE Championship at ONS. After hyping up their Vengeance match, Edge spears RVD to the surprise of the crowd and Heyman. Edge and Lita go to escape through the crowd, but John Cena appears and starts beating up Edge. After Cena takes the brawl to ringside, RVD pulls Cena off of Edge to get some punches in. After Cena and RVD are done beating up Edge, they have a stare down, which is interrupted by Edge pushing Rob into Cena. Edge runs away, and as Cena goes to chase after him, Cena punches Heyman. This leads into some of the ECW roster coming out to check on Heyman.
A vignette is shown advertising tickets for ECW live shows.
We come back to the ECW roster huddled around Paul Heyman. Heyman hypes up the men, and convinces them to attack Monday Night Raw.
The Zombie vs. The Sandman
The bell rings with a Singapore cane right to the head of The Zombie. After about 10 shots with it, The Sandman finishes The Zombie off with a White Russian Leg Sweep.
Winner: The Sandman in 0:17
So... this is the first match of the relaunch of ECW? Wow WWE, you really outdid yourself here. Normally I wouldn't give ratings to such short matches, but I feel as if this match needs one just to describe the vibe it brought for the new ECW. -*
The Sandman celebrates with a beer and a post-match beat down on The Zombie.
We get a message from Kelly Kelly who introduces herself as an exhibitionist, and claims she is going to take off all of her clothes for the crowd, which gets an alarming pop.
After a commercial break, a replay begins of the Tazz vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler match from One Night Stand. Not entirely sure what the point of this was, maybe just to fill time?
Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible
As soon as the match starts, Kurt Angle has the upper-hand. After some face rakes, Kurt Angle belly-to-belly suplexes Credible over the top rope. Credible comes back into the ring only to be met by some more brutality from Angle, who finally finishes the match with a choke.
Winner: Kurt Angle in 1:46
This was a much more acceptable match compared to the first one. This was an obvious squash match, but made Kurt Angle seem like a monster that has finally been unleashed thanks to the extreme atmosphere in ECW. No ranking, but I do approve of the purpose of the match,
After the match, Kurt Angle makes a quick statement directed at Randy Orton saying that he can and will make him tap out.
The camera cuts to an angry Paul Heyman backstage. He says to really show how extreme the new ECW is, he is going to throw all of his plans for the show out of the window and have an "Extreme" Battle Royal match. The winner will get to face John Cena at Vengeance. Not only that, they also get to join the ECW roster when invading Raw the upcoming Monday.
Kelly Kelly comes on screen again to inform us that she will show off all of her "assets" next.
A vignette is shown advertising a new book, The Rise and Fall of ECW.
Joey Styles and Tazz comment on the pitiful actions of Edge earlier in the show, and claim that he is all about Raw. They praise Cena for attacking Edge, but also diminish him for attack Heyman.
Kelly Kelly comes on stage, and begins a striptease for the viewers. A sad feeling came over me when I realized WWE actually thought this was a good idea, or perhaps they didn't care about the new ECW at all. Or maybe this was a tactic to get more viewers, like the Edge and Lita live sex celebration?
"Extreme" Battle Royal Match
Other than a few familiar faces, you would be forgiven if you didn't know most of the competitors in this match. The most notable superstars are Tommy Dreamer, Sabu, and the new extreme Big Show. As soon as the bell rings, about half of the superstars in the match go after Big Show, only to be tossed out (but not eliminated) of the ring. After a commercial break, we come back to see quite a few weapons in the ring. Despite many rough looking hits with the weapons, the camera continually focuses on Big Show, and whatever it is he may be doing. Big Show plays off by how tough he is by not selling anything done by the other competitors, even with the weapons. Finally, after about 20 shots to the body and head, Big Show seems a bit stunned, but only for a few seconds. He comes back even angrier by eliminating superstar after superstar, and showing off his new signature, the Cobra Clutch Backbreaker, on Balls Mohoney (RIP). Show turns around to Tommy Dreamer who begins whacking him with a road sign, which brings Show down to one knee. Show comes back however, and Military Presses Dreamer through a table to eliminate him. Show then eliminates all of the F.B.I, but upon the last elimination, Big Guido holds onto Big Show's arm. Sabu comes out of nowhere to hit Show with a chair to eliminate him.
Winner: Sabu in 9:19
A huge cluster of a match is finally ended, and gives the fans something to look forward to in John Cena vs. Sabu at Vengeance. The match was pretty bad overall, but I can't look past the few hard bumps taken by the likes of Tommy Dreamer and Balls Mahoney. *
Joey Styles and Tazz end the show by reminding the viewers at home that ECW is going to invade Raw, and that they better watch out.
Overall: 2.5/10. The only upside of this show was the building up of different storylines. The show was very bad, but not completely unwatchable thanks to the buildup of Cena/Sabu and Edge/Rob Van Dam. Kurt Angle was made to look a little bit stronger too in a decent way. Other than those reasons, do not watch this show unless you like unorganized, poorly timed spot fests, or are a fan of a Kelly Kelly striptease. Who knows what next week would possibly do to make up for this.
*Sorry about the small text, Blogger wouldn't let me edit the size for some reason. If you have any tips, please contact me!
